Interpretations

music, movies, travel, food, drinks and ideas

Month: November, 2017

We are

Strength – inner or outer is like energy flow. We can harness it, learn to harness it, or conserve it wisely. However, none of us is born with a well of courage and questions. No one is forever strong or weak.

Ever met a lone guy with an enviable past but a miserable present? Ever been angry at a go-getter, who wants nothing anymore? Ever seen your own hopelessness in someone else’s eyes? Well, then I’m sad to say that you have wronged them.

When we make acquaintances, friends and close relationships, we exchange a part of ourselves with others. It’s important – what we exchange. Because most often we trade skills, talents and personal qualities – It’s easy. What we forget is context and life experience; what we ignore is the journey that made a person; what we keep guarded are the fears – their’s and our’s.

Let’s open up. Let’s hear, learn and understand lives. There will be surprises along the way, because we’ll find out that we are all the same. The difference is in the situations, opportunities and luck. To beat these odds, we need to first acknowledge them, listen to each others’ stories, read through the struggles and hold hands all along.

I wish we lived in more collaborative, self-aware communities – even if it was for a brief period. But I wish, therefore I believe that we can help each other evolve into that tomorrow.

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Disengage!

This week marked the start of an experiment to find myself, again.

18 months have been a roller coaster ride of unbelievable joys and deep cuts in the heart; but through all of this something else completely faded away – a sense of space from where creativity used to emerge in the form of sparks, and anything it touched would glow in its own way. That space, which I had parked in the corner of my heart, with a few guards around it, had been taken over. I hoped that it would emerge, only to realize that even if it did, I’ll pay a heavy price.

I tried several ways to cope. I created plans, laid out over weeks and months, to find a new rhythm. Each plan showed its goodness but nothing stuck around. I just got used to the recurrent disappointment.

Finally, over the months of September and October, I broke down – sometimes with unexplained yet severe outbursts, sometimes with petty quarrels and most of the times with a deep sense of resentment towards everyone around me who got by.

My partner intervened and acknowledged that I need help and support. However, to let other people help me, I had to accept it their way.

So I have been set free from all things family. It’s painful to lose the only sense of self you have held on to for 1.5 years; but the goodness of it has already surfaced.

Stay tuned, there’s stuff to come over the next few months.